Pretty much every gay blogger in the country has weighed in on the Tim Hardaway kerfuffle, so I might as well jump on the bandwagon and make the week complete. Hardaway's an idiot. That's his deal, and he is welcome to it. My beef this morning is with all the other idiots who have chimed in to support him with the all too predictable and tiresome bogeyman of the Gay Guy In The Shower.
Surf over to the message boards on ESPN or Sports Illustrated and see how long it took the projecting hysterics to make an appearance. About five posts each. Sure, you have the requisite bible-beaters saying that Tim is absolutely right, that homos have no place in decent society because the Bible says so. Fine. Whatever. At least they're working from a published source. The ones that absolutely chap my hide are those that screech, "If a straight man can't shower in the women's locker room, why should a gay guy be allowed to shower in the men's locker room?" Perhaps amazingly, I am equally pissed off by the would-be gay defenders who come back with, "If you're that homophobic you must be gay yourself."
Both arguments miss the larger point. While some 'phobes are clearly closet cases--Haggard, anyone?--my sense is that men who are terrified about gays seeing them naked are terrified not that someone will find out they're gay, but that they might actually be objectified by someone the way they themselves objectify women. This reaction says as much about a man's conceptualization of masculine sexuality, period, as it does about his thoughts on specific gender orientations. If it's based on power imbalances and a sense of entitlement, where the object of attraction is simply that--an object to be possessed, either at the level of staring or of unwanted physical contact, rather than a person whose boundaries must be respected--then the man who visualizes how he would respond in a shower full of naked women can't consider any reaction by a gay man in a shower full of men other than sexual aggression.
Hardaway is a sad, small little man because he can't conceive of a reality in which he has--most likely--at some time in his basketball career practiced, played, and showered with at least one or two gay guys. He just hasn't noticed them because they in fact have not propositioned him, grabbed his ass, grabbed his dick, or jerked off in the shower while watching him. They've behaved with respect for their teammates' rights to be free from unwanted sexual attention. In short, they've behaved like well-adjusted human beings.
Little hint, guys. I have been involved in team sports since I was a kid, and still go to the gym and get all sweaty. When I hit the locker room, I am interested in getting dressed and going on with my day. I see a naked woman every morning when I get out of the shower at home and look in the mirror, so being surrounded by them in the locker room isn't titillating. I don't stare at naked people. It's rude. And if I notice a really fit nekkid women at the locker next to mine, my reaction is wow, she's really fit. It is not wow, I am going to stand here and visualize all the ways I would like to do her and perhaps punctuate that experience by grabbing her ass.
The response to the shower crowd shouldn't be, "You must be gay too." It should be, "Why do you think it's normal to treat people as sexual objects when they're not interested in you?" or "Why do you think it's normal to treat every situation involving nudity as a sexual situation?" Uncomfortable with the possibility of a gay guy next to you when you're naked? Then maybe think about the way you think about women.
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