Holiday Kickoff

Ah. For the first time in years, I'm coming back to work after Thanksgiving not feeling overstuffed and overstressed. The first day back this year is again a respite, but this time not from an emotional hangover but simply from the nicked knuckles and sun-singed neck a blissful few days of puttering in the yard brings.

We did not, as it turns out, go around the table reciting our blessings. The original ex's new wife is wonderfully mellow and said, oh God, no, when the girlfriend mentioned she was dreading the possibility. This, of course, spurred a round of shouted things we were thankful for, like pie, and the turkey not catching on fire, and mostly not having to go around the table saying what we are thankful for, accompanied by the odd black olive sailing through the air. Who eats those at Thanksgiving, anyway? Their presence on the table was never adequately explained beyond well, they're here, so we might as well wing 'em at each other.

Back to the same old crap this morning with a cup of coffee and a sigh. The stories off the AP wire stubbornly continue to follow up reports of Sunni-Shiite mayhem with the kicker that "the violence adds to fears that the situation may deteriorate into all-out civil war." Up next: the continued association of hydrogen and oxygen may result in all-out water. But it's too soon to tell.

Your near-daily reminder that John McCain is a douchebag: The Arizona Daily Star, apparently in new fair-and-balanced mode (here meaning "relaying inaccurate statements without comment"), ran a piece in which McCain explains that we were all actually wrong about Prop 107:

"I do not believe gay marriage should be legal. I do not believe gay marriage should be legal," he repeated. "But I do believe that people ought to be able to enter into contracts, exchange powers of attorney, other ways that people have relationships can enter into."

Watch it, John, that sounds suspiciously unpunishing to the Sodomites. The base, man, have you forgotten the base?!?

Later, he came back: "I just want to point out again: I believe that gay marriage should not be legal. OK?"

Oh. Never mind.

In the interest of thorough journalism, the Star could have pointed out that measures identical to 107, passed in other states, were promptly used in Michigan (pending) and Ohio (rejected) to argue that municipalities and public schools, including universities, should be prohibited from extending domestic partner benefits to their employees. Perhaps the Star might have even noted that the deliberately vague wording of the no-civil-union measures (along the lines of "no arrangement approximating marriage shall be recognized") leaves those financial and medical power-of-attorney contracts vulnerable to challenges by blood relatives.

Maybe--maybe, in my fantasy land--someone might have asked the senator why, if he favors gay couples acquiring most of the rights of married straight couples through legally executed contracts, he prefers that they be required to draw up dozens of separate documents whose strength will be directly impacted by the quality of family law attorney they can afford to retain, rather than allowing them a simple, one-step process (shorter and cheaper than the het blood-test two-step) at the county clerk's office.

Sigh. Cup of coffee number two.

What the hell. The girlfriend put up the Christmas lights on Friday, the invitations to the annual Christmahannukwanzaakuh with a dollop of Solstice on top party are going out, and Homer's holiday craft party is on the horizon. Not even Senator McLumpy can dampen all that cheer.