Sunday, July 19, 2009


I am playing strip poker with the thermometer and losing, badly. It was something like 109 outside today and only marginally cooler than that inside, so by 4:30 I was reduced to playing Wii in my underwear. Can the neighbors see? I don't really care. Do my readers now have uncomfortable images in their brains? I don't really care. It is the hottest mid-July monsoon season I can recall, and clothing levels are going to stay just on the wrong side of acceptable.

What's for dinner? Dinner? The hell you say. Or, as my brother says, got any other stupid fucking questions? Fudgecicles are for dinner. They bring sweet, sweet relief for all of two minutes before we segue into discomfort and, no more than three minutes later, back to full-blown misery.

The clouds roll in, finally, blotting out the sadistic sun. Tonight's interpretation of Summer Storm features only a few lightning flashes and thunder cracks as prelude to rain showers in three acts. Dialogue is minimal and the characters aren't really fleshed out to my satisfaction before the curtain falls and the storm caravan rolls on to the west, where from this angle it appears to be trying a little harder.

So the day was given over to watching soccer while attempting minimal movement, that mainly between the chair and the floor in front of the fan, while suspending arms and legs away from contact with any heat-retaining surface, sweating, dozing, and sweating some more. Wambach got international goal #100 while Amy Rodriguez continued to flail. Tobin Heath staked a solid claim to more playing time and we wondered who the new holding midfielder will be, since there's no way Boxxy lasts until the World Cup. In WPS action, Tash Kai staked a solid claim to the number two place in line outside the team shrink's office, right after A-Rod, and the Red Stars watched their slim playoff hopes evaporate off Kerri Hanks' right foot in stoppage time. In related news, the Red Stars' back line spent the immediate 60 postgame seconds looking for holes to crawl into rather than going into the same locker room as keeper Caroline J├Ânsson.

Let me know when it's October, yeah?


Damien Huffer said...

looks like I left just in time! Hi from freezing Australia.

Homer said...

I need to introduce you to Mark and Sandy, I am sure they would invite you over to their pool for a cooling swim.

Cyrus said...

"I am playing strip poker with the thermometer and losing, badly."

This might just be the funniest sentence I've ever read.