Oh, I am in a mood. Slap alerts currently in effect:

* The first person on any comment thread dealing with contraception who either links to the video or merely posts "Every sperm is sacred." It was hilarious in the movie. It was kinda funny the first time someone said it re: personhood amendments/Catholic healthcare. Do you think you're being hilarious now that you are approximately the 5288236239021th genius to lay that lick in the comments? You are not.

* The first person on the same thread who says "if men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament." No. If men could get pregnant, they would be women and we would not be having this discussion. Again, mildly thought-provoking the first time. Now it's the equivalent of OMG YOU GUYS THEY'RE ALREADY DEAD on Lost message boards.

* Anyone anywhere who busts out with a howl about war on religion. You fuckers just got the president to cave to a pack of bishops on contraceptive coverage (call it a compromise, call it an end run; the White House still wavered and ended up doing something different than the completely reasonable thing they said they were going to do in the first place). If there's a war here it sure as fuck isn't against conservative Christianity.

Wasn't I going to breathe deeply?