Whomp.

Okay, The Family Circus had been annoying me even more than usual with this week's "cool friends" theme, whose improbably detailed snowmen have hit levels of Ah Fuck The Cloying Sappiness Is Burning My Eyes that are unprecedented even for the Keane clan. We've been warmed up so far with

praying snowman, bell-ringin' kindergarten teacher snowman, and conductor snowman. Okay. Whatever. Not particularly clever (although the dismayed snowman whose body was melting away as he awaited Al Gore's talk on global warming on Sunday was just ooky enough), not particularly plausible builds given the Keane kids' stubby arms, but whatever.

Then came this morning's paper, and with it the realization that Daddy Keane had been setting us up all along. Mundane, mundane, mundane, and then... this.

Why is Larry King so sad? Why, because someone has hacked off his arms, leaving him to wander the streets outside his old digs in a drunken haze, wearing only his suspenders, having blacked out round about the time when he was supposed to put on his pants. It's either that or the realization that being tagged as one of Billy and Jeffy's cool friends has ruined his street cred forEVAH. Righteous, Bil!