Sunday, July 26, 2009

If I May...

If I may say a word about the Fox Soccer Channel's broadcast team for the WPS game of the week, can I get an exemption from the one-word limit since you flippin' numbnuts dipshits is four words? Mark Rogondino: please, please please stop saying "she calls her own number" every goddamn time a player carries the ball in and shoots rather than passing. She calls her own number? Instead of, like, handing off to the tailback? Calling your own number is not a soccer reference. It is an American football reference. To a quarterback sneak. So knock it the fuck off already. Jenn Hildreth: please, please please skim the Laws of the Game again and make a little note you can hang in front of your eyes and point out to your boothmate reminding you that there is no such thing as "offsides" in soccer. The term is offside. No plural.

These are little things. But the little things are often the difference between sounding like you know what you're talking about and sounding like a flippin' numbnuts dipshit who drew the soccer assignment because all the primo Fox NFL sideline reporting jobs were taken. Both of you played the game in college, so you should know better.

If I may say a word, the word is for fuck's sake. Hmmm. That still may require an exemption.

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