Monday, November 01, 2010

Oh, Jesse.

Can I just say that I love Jesse Kelly's new ad? Jesse is trying to take Gabrielle Giffords' US House seat (AZ-8), and is feeling some heat for some of his positions, like, say, eliminating the federal income tax in favor of an across-the-board 23% sales tax, and eliminating food inspectors (because we are all responsible for taking care of ourselves, which apparently means following people home from Safeway and carefully watching them for 48 hours after their backyard BBQs to see if they contract e. coli from this week's bargain hamburger before we feed it to our own families), and, oh yes, outlawing all abortion no matter what.

What's Jesse's approach in the face of these crippling revelations about his creepy-ass ideas? Why, it's this: AMERICA, BITCHEZ.

Ha ha, there's just no time between now and Tuesday to address the issues Congresswoman Giffords has helpfully pointed out to the voters, so AMERICA! Cut taxes, cut spending, and KEEP AMERICA STRONG! Did you know I'm a Marine? Oh, all that stuff you've been hearing about my complete douchecadet positions on women's reproductive freedoms, and wanting you to fork over an additional $23 bucks on your weekly $100 grocery bill? For food that may or may not kill you? Don't worry your pretty heads about that, because: AMERICA!

Please go out and vote tomorrow. It's kind of a big deal.

1 comment:

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