Song

Trying to keep our suddenly food-averse, lung-infected geriatric beagle mix alive and kicking until the girlfriend gets home next Tuesday may wind up being the most stressful extended event I have had in my adult life. Well, maybe coming out to difficult family members was worse, but it's close.

That stress chose a singular soundtrack for itself that manifested first in my brain and then out loud when I came home after work today. I do not know where it came from.

I opened the door and met the unmistakable smell of an accident.

Just hear those sleigh bells jingling ring ting tingling too

The non-beagle old dog had apparently had some trouble standing up sometime during the afternoon and then laid back down in the resulting pile.

Come on it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you

I snapped on her collar and pulled her outside, soapy rags in hand, to hose her down and scrub her off. I left the rags in the outdoor poo bag to throw away later.

Outside the snow is falling and friends are calling yoo-hoo

Back inside, the beagle mix turned his nose up at liver treats and turkey, his eyes dull.

[out loud now] Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you

I heated some profoundly vile cat food in the microwave. The beagle eagerly downed three whole mouthfuls and then went to stare out the front door at the girlfriend's car, empty and marooned in the driveway until she comes back.

Giddyup giddyup giddyup let's go, let's look at the snow.

After some coaxing, he halfheartedly lapped up some more, then mouthed some biscuits, and chewed on some roast beef before spitting out half of it.

We're riding in a wonderland of snow.

Then it was out the door to meet friends who are going out of town and need me to water their plants, and then back to Costco for more roast beef (please eat it) and tasty treats (please eat them).

When I came home the beagle was perkier than he has been in days. Apparently the combination of weird proteins he managed to get down did something beneficial. He did seem pleased about the new treats and beef. I hope it's the start of an upward trend and not just a blip.

Let's take the road before us and sing a chorus or two

My mom used to play Sleigh Ride a lot on the piano when I was a kid. She was never too sure about the lyrics, so she made up whatever came into her mind at the moment, and it was usually comedy gold. Maybe that's where my brain fled to when I didn't see any solutions in front of me and caved in to frustration and desperation.

Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you.

Come on.