The Olympics have inspired me. In short, curling. Curling! The untold hours in college I sacrificed to bar games instead of studying can finally pay off! Because, seriously, me, a couple buddies, and a few beers would have to add up to a better performance than anything the US teams have done this time around. Maybe they're not drunk enough? Because they're playing mini-shuffleboard with the zoom set at about 1000%, on ice, with feckin' brooms! Clearly! Another game that you play better when drinking! And they're in Canada, for fuck's sake! Bring on the Labatt's!
Also, there are hats, and I dearly want one. Preferably yellow.
Now if the Olympics would just add Those Mini Bowling Machines That Are Sorta Like Skee-Ball With The Pins On Strings as a demonstration sport, Team Boltgirl could be bringing home the gold in two events!