Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Yip Yip Yip

W held a press conference yesterday, in which he exhibited the biggest case of the yips I've seen since the last time I was puttin' for bird with a dollar riding on the hole. The camera frequently could not keep up with his side-to-side bobbing and weaving behind the lectern, he laughed nervously throughout, and at several points appeared to be hyperventilating. Some commentators remarked on his oddly dilated pupils as further evidence that he was hopped up on something, but I only watched the internet feed on my brightness-challenged monitor and couldn't make them out.

Highlights included his lecturing Helen Thomas about how "9/11 changed everything".... again... and claiming he never wanted to go to war ::cough choke:: and two very interesting asides, almost, that he muttered at the end of some convoluted syntax passing as answers to questions: "I'm stalling for time here," and my favorite, "They're telling me what to say." I have never seen him look so discomfited; perhaps more than one handler at a time was screaming through his earpiece.

But the most chilling moment for me was when he was asked about withdrawing our forces from Iraq. He said that's going to be up to future presidents to deal with. Nothing like shitting on the floor and then breezing out of the room, leaving your mess for the next poor fucker who walks in--and I'd wager my left nut, had I a left nut to wager, that he's going to then disparage that next poor fucker for not cleaning up the mess quickly enough, or cleanly enough, or with enough of a lingering fresh scent.

In other news, finally something ::gasp:: positive to report from South Dakota. The new president of the Oglala Sioux tribe is a woman named Cecilia Fire Thunder, who has spent her adult life working to end the abuse of women and children on the Pine Ridge Reservation and to fight alcoholism in the community. She's righteously pissed that a group of white guys in Pierre have decided to take away the last avenue of self-determination available to a woman who's raped--which happens to Lakota women at a rate three times higher than among the white population--and has declared she'll open her own damn Planned Parenthood clinic within the sovereign nation of the Pine Ridge Reservation, where state laws can't touch it. The first couple Google passes haven't turned up reliable contact information for Ms. Fire Thunder's office, so my project in the next couple of days will be figuring out how serious she is about this initiative and how you, my faithful readership of seven, might be able to contribute.

1 comment:

GreatOne said...

Wow, I do sense that you are slightly pissed off. Well, heres to you, pissed off neighbor, may the Great Spirit calm your boiling heart!