Monday, June 26, 2006

Never Expected...

Never expected to be feeling this way. It's become the theme to the summer, a summer defined by this constricted little bit of time. When I think back on summer '06, years from now, it is this time I will remember. And it's only been two weeks.

I never expected the intense reaction to seeing someone get married. I never expected the distraction, no matter how fleeting. I never expected to feel like I was in a competition for my son. And, should that have come to pass, I never expected to feel like I was losing.

Two weeks in June have drawn to a close, two weeks that, against the backdrop of the chaos the world has entered, don't impact the big picture a whit. Two weeks that, nonetheless, have left me staggering backwards, sputtering "What the hell?" more than once.

Do I evolve, or is it really just a big circle of the same outcomes rolling round and round without end?

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