Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Inauguration Day Occasional Liveblogging

7:57 (Tucson time): The flag is bungeed to the mailbox at home--lesbian resourcefulness at its best--and the coffee is brewing in the office. We have donuts. We are watching and waiting.

Michelle just handed a beribboned box--chocolates? cow print lingerie for Dallas?--to Laura, and now they're heading inside the White House for their own coffee. Not sure about the pale gold dress; I guess it's appropriately solemn and looks like it's warm enough to withstand a dash from limo to door without too much discomfort. Holding out hope that she'll change into something funner and more royal blue for the balls.

Jesus, look at all those people. My toes would be falling off at this point if I were out there. But it's an awesome sight and I hope things stay friendly and nobody gets stupid. Anticipating a stirring call to service in Obama's speech, and enough calls to unity and country to make even the bitterest heart swell with something approaching optimism. Bring it, Hopey.

8:22: I want a donut.

8:39: I should have known better than to get excited about Rachel co-anchoring MSNBC's coverage as long as Chris Matthews is anywhere near a microphone. He's talking over everyone, and I have yet to get a visual of the good doctor. Is she wearing a hat with ear flaps? That would be too adorable for words.

Oh, there's Ted Kennedy, in--as Tweety says--a Don Corleone hat. The man had part of brain hacked out, for chrissakes, let him be.

The White House doors have opened, so coffee must be over. Annnnd here come... Lynn Cheney and Jill Biden. Jill's curiously not sporting duct tape over her mouth, so coffee was probably every bit as entertaining as I suspected it would be.

8:43: John Kerry comes out in a gaggle of cowboys. I'm confused. And there's the Cheney lesbian. Now the sentries are saluting but no one's coming out. Awkward! Oh, now here comes Cheneybot on Wheels. Has anybody checked that cane he's holding across his knees? Not that Obama needs to worry; he'll probably accidentally plug Lieberman instead.

Ah, here come the boys. Oh, they're riding together. Awkward times two!

9:12: Mama Biden's in a wheelchair, but looks like she's ready to hop out. Olbermann says Bush 41 is "walking old." Concur. Bar hasn't changed a bit, which may be the singular advantage to looking like you're eighty throughout your sixties and seventies. Here are the Carters, looking good. Now Clintons. Love the color of Hilary's coat, and thank god the woman was sensible enough to wear pants on a cold-ass day.

9:21: Ooh, there's the Lincoln bible. It's big. Good thing Michelle's an athletic woman.

And there are the moving vans. Slightly less inspiring.

Squeeeee! Here come the girls! Sasha is rocking that orange scarf and mittnes. Again, love the color of Malia's coat. Do you sense a pattern here?

9:29: Look at all those people. Unreal.

Here come Michelle and Jo.

Tweety needs to STFU already. Oh, is Rachel still there? The boys actually pause long enough for her to both start and finish a sentence. I still have not seen whether my earflapped hat fantasy is coming true.

Here comes Bush. The crowd has burst into Na Na Hey Hey Goodbye, and the Marine band promptly strikes up a jaunty cover fire tune. Oh dear. It might be just people in the vicinity of the MSNBC mikes several hundred yards from the stage. Huh. Not sure if I should say funny as hell but not quite as classy as we would like, or not quite as classy as we would like but funny as hell.

Oh, here is the official Bush and Cheney introduction, accompanied by Boehner and some other douchebag. The tepidness of the applause is overwhelming, although MSNBC wisely switched to mikes on the stage rather than those in the midst of the rabble.

9:37: Biden. Feinstein and Pelosi. Obama coolly strolling through the corridor.

Oh, is Eugene Robinson still here? He manages to slide a word in edgewise past the Matthews/Olbermann goalies.

We switch to NPR out of frustration over the MSNBC audio freezing up. And hear an in-depth discussion of how many people are wearing purple. And red. And blue. And coats. And hats. WTF?

And here comes the man. Cool as a fucking cucumber as the bezillion people in the crowd go nuts.

10:26: Chief Justice Roberts mangles the oath, inevitably condemning us to four years of wingnuts howling that Hussein isn't really the president because he didn't recite the words required by the Constitution, but Obama follows up with a good speech. Nice shout-out to the atheists, major mad props for the shout-out to the Constitution, in whatever distant corner it's been cowering and whimpering for the last eight years, mush-appreciated reminder of that whole equality and justice thing.

Oh, and Rick Warren? Hypocrisy, ur nailing it egzactly. And I'm sure Jesus enjoyed you sharing with the crowd all the little pet names you have for him.

I'm not feeling the poem, but that's okay.

And I have no idea what Joseph Lowery is saying, but the cadence is nice. Oh, now I'm getting it. Maybe his mouth was cold at the beginning; lord knows I have trouble talking when my face is frozen. Now he's rhyming. Amen!

Now I want to watch the parade, and hope the video feed catches up a little. Are the shriners going to be there? It ain't a parade without a fez.

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