Wednesday, December 19, 2007


Somebody left a few advertising postcards in the bathroom at Bookman's. For this:

Yes. It does say Milf. Maternity wear.

I just had to go to the website. Just to see if maybe they don't actually know what MILF means, although the logo strongly suggests they do. Maybe...

This bold belly baring tank top say’s pregnant or not…I am hot! You will never want to take it off. This staple white tank will last you into post pardum.
Logo: “B2 Bare the Belly”

Or maybe not.

The proud mom of two who started this company claims MILF only means "Mothers In Love with Fashion," but rather disingenuously follows that up with

I hope you love my clothing line and you wear the Milf label with pride. Remember, you are "Always Hot... Pregnant or Not!"


Stacey Latona
“A woman who personally considers being called a 'Milf' a compliment. You should too!"

Because nothing says pride like tying your self-worth to how you rate on a man's fuckability index, even--especially--if you've given birth or are on your way to the delivery room! Why settle for compliments like "nice" or "smart" or "stylish" when guys can--and should!--just cut to the chase and pronounce you someone they would Like To Fuck?

You can either let the world know you are "S2 Seriously Sexy" or declare yourself a "Knocked Up Knockout"! Can’t decide if you want to "Countdown to Cosmo's" or let your little belly be highlighted with the "My Pod" logo? Go for it and get one of everything. Isn't that what we women do when we can't decide?

Ha ha ha, we women are so darn incapable of making decisions, we better just grab up everything within our field of vision! Why, you'd almost think we didn't have brains! Would you Like To Fuck us now?

Lots of shops have maternity lines now that look like actual clothing rather than tents. I'm all for it. But Jesus Haploid Christ, can we do it because the women involved like the clothes on their own merits, rather than echoing the message that women need to define and maintain themselves in service of male sexual desire at all times?

I feel like vomiting a little, and it ain't morning sickness talking.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Sorry my company makes you feel like vomiting. If it makes you feel any better, your comments made me feel the same way! I feel your pain!

I must point out just one eency-weency, little glitch in your reasoning. By your logic, David Chappelle, Chris Rock, and millions of other black Americans are suffering a false consciousness when they use a racial epithet once used by white people to insult and disrespect them.

Or maybe not.

In fact, their appropriation of this derogatory word is always a liberating move and shows they are no longer controlled by it. But more than that, by taking this word away from the oppressor, they haven't just freed themselves of the "slave" identity described by Hegel in his master-slave dialectic, they've transcended it. Now that's a freedom worth thinking about it.

Your comments suggest you're trapped by your own "slave" mentality that hates the master, yet wants to conquer him using a conceptual scheme that HE set up. It doesn't work that way, sister! As long as you hate, you'll never transcend this dialectic! But picking up my postcard was surely serendipitous: it's led you to post this blog, and likely to reading (or rereading) Hegel, which I hope will help you see that an acronym created by sexist men to demean women only has power when you accept it on their terms. Liberated women will choose a different route. "Milf" need not mean all the male sexist things you claim it means (just as "marriage" need not mean a union between a man and a woman only). I claim "milf" means that pregnancy is beautiful, pregnancy is sexy -- and sexiness has nothing to do with how men perceive women, but how women perceive themselves.

And besides, you DO have to get fucked to get pregnant ;-)

Stacey Latona
Milf Maternity Wear