All I Am Going to Say About Lipstick

We're getting perilously close to that breaking point I didn't think would come for me, the one where I back away from the campaign in disgust and resign myself to being fucked over by my Dumbfuckistan brethren yet again. Wanna get depressed? Read the inevitable comment threads following any online organ's coverage of this non-story that nonetheless has morphed into proof positive that Democrats are elitist sexist misogynist bigots who hate strong women. Did I say "depressed?" Perhaps I meant by that "fucking ready to strangle the next motherfucker who utters the words hockey mom or Bridge to Nowhere to me."

Let me see if got this straight. When someone at John McCain's town hall directly references Hillary Clinton by asking, "How do we beat the bitch?" it's something to be laughed at and cheered. When Barack Obama uses the phrase "lipstick on a pig" in reference to John McCain's policies and only John McCain's policies, somehow it's a disgraceful insult to Sarah Palin specifically and all women on the planet generally. Because Sarah Palin said the word "lipstick" in her convention speech. One time. So obviously every future use of the word can only be understood as a direct personal reference to Sarah Palin.

Other words that by default are now out of play: mom, hockey, mayor, son, daughter, America, responsibility, dude, snow machine, my, an, the. Good luck with that, rational America. Oops! Shouldn't have let my thinly disguised hatred of country and motherhood and Maybelline pitbulls slip out like that!