Friday, September 19, 2008

Friday Fulminations

A long overdue edition! Of! Things we hate!

1. Migraines! Would you like to experience the Boltversion of a migraine? Get two icepicks. Jam one laterally into your temple and one vertically through the top of your head so that they meet directly behind your left eye. Stir and enjoy!

2. Sleep disruptions induced by said migraines! Last night the migraine was accompanied by random itchiness, probably courtesy of our newly arrived dry fall air and the hordes of mosquitoes that have refused to acknowledge the end of monsoon season and keep sucking our blood. My half-asleep brain managed to conflate the onset of each itch with lingering fears of Sarah Palin, translating the whole experience into a nightmare in which every new itch signalled Palin banning essential household goods. Itch on my face? She just banned buckets. On my shoulder? There go the forks. And so on. It was awful. It is very difficult being inside my head sometimes.

3. Googly bits showing up in my chicken! Do you want me to vomit?

4. People who scream at the ref! I am heading back onto the pitch in two weeks. Please be polite.

5. Writer's block! Yes, I am home recovering from a goddamn migraine, but I'm also trying to work, and since half my work requires this thing called "writing," the ten-ton cinder block currently parked on top of my writing lobe is getting me down. Sledgehammers, anyone? Anyone?

6. Self-indulgent blathering masquerading as a blog post! Aaaaiiiieeeee!!!! Time to take down the blog!

7. Also getting pinched, and that annoying rattle in my right front quarter panel, and paper cuts, and running out of coffee before I'm ready, and bacon that's not crispy, and USC.

And whiners. Jesus god, do I hate whiners. Ha!

1 comment:

Damien said...

But fair enough, Boltgirl....everyone HAS to whinge every once and a while...one would just explode without it! The migraines alone mean you deserve it!