Thursday, April 22, 2010

Another Morning in Lower Wingnuttia Province, Southern Jesustan


Ignoring warnings of illegality from their own secretary of state, most House Republicans voted Wednesday to require him to verify that presidential candidates on the Arizona ballot are, in fact, born in the United States.

SB 1024 would require political parties to submit to the Arizona secretary of state "documents that prove that the candidate is a natural born citizen, prove the candidate's age and prove that the candidate meets the residency requirements for President of the United States."

But the measure, approved 31-29 with no Democratic votes, goes even further. It gives the secretary of state the unilateral power to keep a candidate off the Arizona ballot if he or she has "reasonable cause" to believe the candidate is not qualified.

There really isn't much more to say about a state that recently, sort of in order:

1. Kicked over 300,000 people off the state-subsidized healthcare rolls, including 31,000+ children from the CHIP program.

2. Made drastic cuts to public education in response to the state's budget disaster, to the extent that school districts are laying off hundreds of teachers, schools are closing and merging, and librarians, counselors, and even full-time principals are things of the past. Shall we talk about what it's doing to the state university system? That's a whole 'nother post.

3. Enacted legislation preventing unmarried (read: gay) couples from adopting unless absolutely no one else wants the children in question.

4. Closed all but four of the 17 rest stops on the highways in our rather large state. Take a leak and a nap at McDonald's if you need a leak and a nap that bad, bitchez!

5. Closed numerous state parks, including some containing prehistoric ruins that will now be wrecked by pothunters in the absence of ranger patrols.

6. Made it illegal for anyone receiving subsidized healthcare--state employees, that means you too, not just the poor folks--to get an insurance-covered abortion, unless the woman's life is in danger.

7. Made it legal for doctors, nurses, and pharmacists to refuse to dispense emergency contraception, even to rape victims, and also made it legal for the same to refuse to refer said victim to a healthcare provider who will actually do his or her job. Want Plan B, you slut? Get it off the internet. No internet access? It's your own fault for taking such a low-paying job.

8. Made it illegal for anyone to provide a minor with a prescription for contraception, or perform any mental health screening or treatment, or provide comprehensive sex education, without parental permission.

9. Made it legal for anyone over the age of 21 to carry a concealed weapon without a permit and the training that such permits require.

10. But has a governor who vetoed a bill that would have ended the state ban on 4th of July sparklers, because she thinks they're too dangerous.

11. Passed a law requiring law enforcement to demand proof of citizenship or legal residency from anyone they arrest who they suspect might be Mexican in the country illegally.

12. Decided to allow the citizenry to sue any cop they see not being rigorous enough in demanding papers from a Mexican person they happen to be questioning.

And now (13) the fucking birthers have managed to tack a giant birther turd onto an unrelated piece of legislation that got through the state House. No way in hell will it withstand a challenge from even the night janitor at the Supreme Court, should the state Senate pass it, but that's immaterial. With this latest variation on the dog whistle, Arizona has officially wrestled the Dumbfuckery All-Around Championship from previous titleholders Mississippi, Alabama, and South Carolina.

It's not even much of a dog whistle any more. It is more of a train horn blasting at different intervals and varying decibel levels, but the message is the same. ZOMG BLACK GUY IN TEH WHITE HOUSE!!11!!!1!!! Just come out and say it, fuckers, and save yourselves some breath and time spent typing amendments to every House bill that comes down the pike.

Seriously, just hammer this one out and append it everything else you fucking do up there in Phoenix: Whereas, Barack Hussein Obama is the 44th President of the United States, therefore, be it resolved by the House of Representatives of the State of Arizona, the Senate concurring, that: ZOMG BLACK GUY IN TEH WHITE HOUSE!!11!!!1!!! SOCIALISM!!!!! SAUL ALINSKY!!!eleventyone!!!!

It's very easy to say oh my god I'm moving to Canada, or Massachusetts, or Washington, but it's not very easy to actually do it. My partner and my job--I still have one--and my friends and my son's roots are here. So we stay and watch the state, and sanity, crumble around us.

Note: should you find yourself in need of a birther takedown, I suggest this.


Damien Huffer said...

As bad is watching/hearing about all this shit happening to Arizona, but from a distance. I'm pretty sure the next time I'm back in AZ, it'll be that much more difficult to recognize the place anymore.

Homer said...

9-11! 9-11! 9-11! That solves everything if you chant it loudly.