Whew, Thank God Marriage is Safe in Washington!

What bothers me isn't so much that the state of Washington ruled their gay-marriage ban constitutional (remember I'm talking about relative levels of high annoyance on the midly pissed off-to-homicidal rage continuum). It's that the 5-4 majority based their opinion on a single point: procreation.

Attorneys for the state and King County [...] said lawmakers had a rational reason for limiting marriage to people of the opposite sex: Only those couples are biologically capable of having children, and keeping them together is generally best for those children.

"The basic decision came down to the fact that the Supreme Court felt that by limiting marriage to opposite sex, they sustained the ability to procreate," said Gary Randall, president of the Faith & Freedom Network in Bellevue. "We consider this a decisive victory that upholds the values of the faith community."

Well, thank god for that. If anyone but straight people are allowed to marry, the human race's ability to procreate will surely disappear in a wisp of smoke. Because not only will straight married couples suddenly become sterile, but unmarried straight people will stop impregnating each other as well.

I now eagerly await the logical extension of the court's reasoning, which should be to limit marriage in the state of Washington to fertile straight people, and to compel divorce for post-menopausal newlyweds and otherwise sterile, childless couples.

Oh, yeah, the "faith community" can shove its mean-spirited values up its ass, just before kissing mine.